Today it was a joy to see William's first smiles. We spent the morning at the Civil Affairs Office completing paperwork. The girls were trying to connect with him and soon he warmed up. Emma's camera was his big interest, and once he got his hands on it he took a picture of his nose and thought that was hilarious. He still doesn't want Dan or me to get too close to him, although he will hold my hand when we are out in public, out of fear I suppose. The orphanage staff hid so William would not see them and think he had a chance of going back.
A couple fun stories...he is determined to press the elevator buttons each time we get on. He always knows what number to press before we tell him, 1 for lobby, 8 for the room, and 5 for the buffet. He typically gets it right. Also, yesterday he refused to brush his teeth and our guide asked him why. he explained that Dan had not given him a new toothbrush but a used one! He never saw Dan take it out of the wrapper so he assumed it was used. So tonight we took a new one out for him to open and he was fine. Also yesterday, he kept hiding from the camera as Macy would take pictures, and Tracy asked him why. He quickly stated that she doesn't look like a photographer because she is a girl!
He is still refusing to change clothes and goes into hysterics when we suggest it. He is sleeping in them as well. Seems he feels that it is all he has left to hang on to, and it's very painful to watch.
He has told our guide (crying) that he wants to buy necklaces for the nannies. He is very passionate and tender. He also begged her for an answer as to when he could return to the orphanage. She told him he could choose to go back when he was grown up. He was very upset that he would not be able to find the way to the orphanage from the USA.
As I watch William's response to us and how desperately he is trying to cling to his old life, I can't help but think of my own flinch reactions to God. How often it feels like God is trying to pry my hands open, and I hold on tight. In my mind I really think I know what's best, and all the while He has something so much better in store, something more than I can imagine.
“I don’t always know where this life is going. I can’t see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.” -Katie Davis